Rob and I are official. Last night he asked me to be his girlfriend. I'm extremely happy. He told me he's wanted this for so long, he was just scared. A lot of times I feel bad because I'm so much more experienced in the opposite sex than he is. I've done things I'm not proud of, and I'm probably more experienced than I'd like to be. But now it's just so different being with a shy guy. I think he'll get better though. I know he's worth the wait, there's no one else I'd rather be with. I'M JUST SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY!
If only I could get this damn iOS 5 software to fucking download on my phone, I'd be set right now. I'm workin on it.
Dear Apple, you suck.
Love, Me.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I am so bored. Sitting in study hall and this teacher is such a bitch. We have to sit in assigned seats and no talking. Rob is in here and but since we can't sit together, we're texting from across the room lol. I don't know if I've ever been more bored. So since I have a full 40 minutes and absolutely nothing to do with it, I'll recap my weekend. It actually was quite eventful.
My last post ended right before the dance. So before the dance I went to Rob's house and drank with a few people then we headed downtown. My high school dances are nothing like the movies. You know, the ones where the boys stand on one side of the room, the girls stand on the other, they awkwardly stare at eachother and no one dances. HA. Our dances are grindfests. People are basically raped on the dance floor. Not literally. But close enough. Everyone is dripping sweat and dancing like strippers. It's extremely fun though. I didn't think Rob was used to that type of thing, since he was new here last year. It was his first dance at our school. He stayed with me the whole time.. I'm sure he was glad because honestly my dancing is pretty slut-like hahaha. Anyways it was super fun. Rob and I were both so tired afterwards we decided not to go out and party. We went back to his house instead, where I instantly fell asleep on the couch. He took me home around 1am. Sunday Rob and I went to the Steller game. I'm not really big on football games but I had such a good time just because I was with him. That night my friend Mike had people over to drink at his grandparents house because they're away for the week. Everyone was having a good time but then Rob started acting weird. He always gets like that when he drinks. He'll act all pissed off about nothing and actually start to get mean. By the end of the night I was so angry with him. My friend Bailey drove Rob's car back to his house with me. The whole ride he kept trying to apologize and act all depressed. I was still pissed. Then me and Bailey got picked up by a few people. We rode around with them for a little then went home. The next morning, Monday, we didn't have school. Rob texted me to work things out. He was already planning on forgiving him, but still the things he said were adorable. Basically how it ended was him saying that he's not gonna drink anymore because of the way it makes him and I mean too much for him to lose me over something like that. He came over and we hung out at my house literally for 10 hours. I actually found myself missing him when he left.
Now that brings me to today. Boring as shit. School is lame. This study hall is almost over though I think so I gotta go. Post back soon, hopefully this week.
My last post ended right before the dance. So before the dance I went to Rob's house and drank with a few people then we headed downtown. My high school dances are nothing like the movies. You know, the ones where the boys stand on one side of the room, the girls stand on the other, they awkwardly stare at eachother and no one dances. HA. Our dances are grindfests. People are basically raped on the dance floor. Not literally. But close enough. Everyone is dripping sweat and dancing like strippers. It's extremely fun though. I didn't think Rob was used to that type of thing, since he was new here last year. It was his first dance at our school. He stayed with me the whole time.. I'm sure he was glad because honestly my dancing is pretty slut-like hahaha. Anyways it was super fun. Rob and I were both so tired afterwards we decided not to go out and party. We went back to his house instead, where I instantly fell asleep on the couch. He took me home around 1am. Sunday Rob and I went to the Steller game. I'm not really big on football games but I had such a good time just because I was with him. That night my friend Mike had people over to drink at his grandparents house because they're away for the week. Everyone was having a good time but then Rob started acting weird. He always gets like that when he drinks. He'll act all pissed off about nothing and actually start to get mean. By the end of the night I was so angry with him. My friend Bailey drove Rob's car back to his house with me. The whole ride he kept trying to apologize and act all depressed. I was still pissed. Then me and Bailey got picked up by a few people. We rode around with them for a little then went home. The next morning, Monday, we didn't have school. Rob texted me to work things out. He was already planning on forgiving him, but still the things he said were adorable. Basically how it ended was him saying that he's not gonna drink anymore because of the way it makes him and I mean too much for him to lose me over something like that. He came over and we hung out at my house literally for 10 hours. I actually found myself missing him when he left.
Now that brings me to today. Boring as shit. School is lame. This study hall is almost over though I think so I gotta go. Post back soon, hopefully this week.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
SO Busy
The past week has been hectic. We found out this year's homecoming court two weeks ago and a lot of my senior friends were nominated. Kristen chose me to be one of her shadows. Shadows are basically the person's bitch. Each girl on court chooses two shadows. Our job is basically to make their banner for the pep rally, decorate their locker, make t-shirts with stupid phrases like "Kristen is my queen", and take pictures. So not fun. But I felt like it would be rude to say no.
Last night was the homecoming football game. All the shadows had to be on the sidelines with the court and their parents. At half time, they announced the queen. It was so predictable. I think I'm psychic. I guessed who the runner up AND the queen were gonna be. Anyways, I'm glad all that shit is over. It took up all my time.
Tonight is the homecoming dance downtown at the history center. Last year I always got so excited for dances I don't know why this year is different. I'm not excited at all. This year though, I'm drinking before I go and as I always say, everything's better when you're wasted. Homecoming is always semi-casual and it's not really a type of dance that you need a date for. Rob is driving me down with a few other people. We're not really getting pictures except a few for his mom. I'm in loveeeee with my dress. It's a sort of metallic purpley silver, strapless, short, and in the middle of the chest has some mirror/beading/gem things. I don't know what I'm doing afterwards, but hopefully partying somewhere.
Tomorrow I'm going to the Steeler game with Rob. I've never been to one before! It starts at 1 so we'll have to leave sometime in the morning.. that will make it a little difficult to party hard tonight. Of course I'll do it anyways though :)
Besides this weekend's events, nothing much else has been going on recently. I'm gonna try my best to post back again sometime next week!
Last night was the homecoming football game. All the shadows had to be on the sidelines with the court and their parents. At half time, they announced the queen. It was so predictable. I think I'm psychic. I guessed who the runner up AND the queen were gonna be. Anyways, I'm glad all that shit is over. It took up all my time.
Tonight is the homecoming dance downtown at the history center. Last year I always got so excited for dances I don't know why this year is different. I'm not excited at all. This year though, I'm drinking before I go and as I always say, everything's better when you're wasted. Homecoming is always semi-casual and it's not really a type of dance that you need a date for. Rob is driving me down with a few other people. We're not really getting pictures except a few for his mom. I'm in loveeeee with my dress. It's a sort of metallic purpley silver, strapless, short, and in the middle of the chest has some mirror/beading/gem things. I don't know what I'm doing afterwards, but hopefully partying somewhere.
Tomorrow I'm going to the Steeler game with Rob. I've never been to one before! It starts at 1 so we'll have to leave sometime in the morning.. that will make it a little difficult to party hard tonight. Of course I'll do it anyways though :)
Besides this weekend's events, nothing much else has been going on recently. I'm gonna try my best to post back again sometime next week!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Weekend Update
Eh this weekend went okay I guess.
Friday night was the usual. A bunch of people pre-gamed at this one kid's house before the football game. The theme for the game was to wear camo. I went allll out in my gear. I got drunk and had a super fun time at the game (as always). After the game we went back to the kid's house but there were only a few people there. Rob and I went to his house so he could get his car. We just drove around for a little. Then we both decided there was nothing to do and we were tired so he took me home.
Saturday I did absolutely nothing all day long. Then in the evening I went to the baseball game downtown with a few friends. Rob was already downtown because he went to the hockey game earlier, and I had an extra ticket so he met us at the field and came with us. Normally, the baseball games are pretty boring but we went last night because Steve Miller Band was playing afterwards. I love their music, but they really sucked live. Rob was going to come over after the game but we got into a stupid little argument. I told him he should just go home instead.
This morning Rob and I worked everything out though. The argument was so stupid, there's no need for me to explain. Today, Rob came over around 3:30 and he just left now. Haha so pretty much we just chilled at my house for four straight hours. It's impossible for me to have a bad time with him though.
So yeah, nothing really too interesting this weekend. Now I'm gonna go outside and smoke a cigarette and then the new season of Desperate Housewives starts at 9! I'm so excited!
Friday night was the usual. A bunch of people pre-gamed at this one kid's house before the football game. The theme for the game was to wear camo. I went allll out in my gear. I got drunk and had a super fun time at the game (as always). After the game we went back to the kid's house but there were only a few people there. Rob and I went to his house so he could get his car. We just drove around for a little. Then we both decided there was nothing to do and we were tired so he took me home.
Saturday I did absolutely nothing all day long. Then in the evening I went to the baseball game downtown with a few friends. Rob was already downtown because he went to the hockey game earlier, and I had an extra ticket so he met us at the field and came with us. Normally, the baseball games are pretty boring but we went last night because Steve Miller Band was playing afterwards. I love their music, but they really sucked live. Rob was going to come over after the game but we got into a stupid little argument. I told him he should just go home instead.This morning Rob and I worked everything out though. The argument was so stupid, there's no need for me to explain. Today, Rob came over around 3:30 and he just left now. Haha so pretty much we just chilled at my house for four straight hours. It's impossible for me to have a bad time with him though.
So yeah, nothing really too interesting this weekend. Now I'm gonna go outside and smoke a cigarette and then the new season of Desperate Housewives starts at 9! I'm so excited!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Breaking Point
17th day of school... And I've reached my first breaking point of the many to come. I can't even call it stress because it is so much more than that. I've never felt like this in my life. My personality is a laid back type of person. I don't get worked up about many things, especially not school. I take things as they come, and I'm lazy. Right now, my massive to-do list grows more massive each day. Thank God I don't still have a job right now. I'm already juggling volleyball, school clubs, homecoming, PSAT's, graduation project, and my very challenging classes. Speaking of which, I have three hugggeeee tests in starting tomorrow. I say that they are "starting" tomorrow because they are all two-day tests. One entire period of testing is not enough, so my lovely teachers have to extend them twice as long. Love those guys. On top of that, I have some stupid ass fundraising shit to do. TWO different fundraisers. One for volleyball and one for my trip to Europe (I'll explain more on this trip in a later post!). And of course, on top of everything else, there's Rob. Although this is an awesome part of my life right now, it's still stressful. I forgot how tiring having a (sort of) boyfriend is. He asks me to hang out and it's like I won't let myself say no. I don't want to say no. I just want to spend time with him and skip every school related responsibility. My priorities have always been off. All I have to say for it is, Fun and I are too close of friends.
The worst part is instead of trying harder to get everything sorted out, I give up. When things get tough, I do nothing instead of everything. Instead of studying forever because I know a test will be hard, I don't study at all because I tell myself I'm going to fail it anyways. Tonight I've given up on studying and I've given up on grad project work. I really really wish I could change that about myself. I need to teach myself to be optimistic. If that's even possible. The glass is always half empty for me and I'm sick of it. It's the thing that scares me the most about myself. Am I just going to wake up one day and realize there's no point in trying at life, too? Most of the time I think of myself as a fairly sane person, but when this question creeps into my head I feel anything but. Then another thought finds its way into my brain. Death. Is death more peaceful than life? Less stressful? More rewarding? I want to know. Please don't get me wrong though. I am NOT suicidal in any way. AT ALL. I would never take my own life. However if I were to die this moment, by accident, would I be just as happy, if not happier? I'm a Catholic. My vision of heaven is one thing... peace. No floating over the world, watching. No reincarnation. Nothing crazy like that. I think of heaven not as a place, but a feeling. Complete and total stress-free peace. I don't want to die, but when my time comes, I'll welcome it.
Wow. I cannot believe what this post has done for me. I've gone from raging stressed out maniac, to peaceful thinker in a matter of fifteen minutes. I love you, inventor of blogging.
So although I just ranted about how I shouldn't give up, I do need some sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day. A fresh start is the best kind. Goodnight.
The worst part is instead of trying harder to get everything sorted out, I give up. When things get tough, I do nothing instead of everything. Instead of studying forever because I know a test will be hard, I don't study at all because I tell myself I'm going to fail it anyways. Tonight I've given up on studying and I've given up on grad project work. I really really wish I could change that about myself. I need to teach myself to be optimistic. If that's even possible. The glass is always half empty for me and I'm sick of it. It's the thing that scares me the most about myself. Am I just going to wake up one day and realize there's no point in trying at life, too? Most of the time I think of myself as a fairly sane person, but when this question creeps into my head I feel anything but. Then another thought finds its way into my brain. Death. Is death more peaceful than life? Less stressful? More rewarding? I want to know. Please don't get me wrong though. I am NOT suicidal in any way. AT ALL. I would never take my own life. However if I were to die this moment, by accident, would I be just as happy, if not happier? I'm a Catholic. My vision of heaven is one thing... peace. No floating over the world, watching. No reincarnation. Nothing crazy like that. I think of heaven not as a place, but a feeling. Complete and total stress-free peace. I don't want to die, but when my time comes, I'll welcome it.
Wow. I cannot believe what this post has done for me. I've gone from raging stressed out maniac, to peaceful thinker in a matter of fifteen minutes. I love you, inventor of blogging.
So although I just ranted about how I shouldn't give up, I do need some sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day. A fresh start is the best kind. Goodnight.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Getting There...
Things with Rob have been making a bit less progress than I'd like. But I still can't complain. We pretty much talked about our situation and it's completely in the open that we're on a more than friend status. Now I'm hearing that he told his best friend he thinks he'll make me his girlfriend soon.
I've made up my mind and I have one objection to dating Rob. He is definitely not physical enough for me. Once he improves his body language towards me, I would love to have him as my boyfriend. I don't know if it makes me sound easy for saying this, but we have been getting so close the past two weeks I expect to be more than just talking to him. I know I'm being stupid for not initiating anything but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I haven't felt this way towards someone in a long time and I don't want to rush into things and ruin it if he's not ready. I can't keep sitting around and waiting though. Next opportunity I have, I gotta do something.
This weekend would have been perfect. Both Friday night and Saturday, this kid had a small get-together. It was only about 6-10 people each night but Rob was there so he and I had a good time. They were the drinking kind of get-togethers. I didn't want to get completely retarded in front of him though. I guess I'm a lot more experienced at drinking than him. We both drank the same amount and he was completely hammered. I felt bad it had to have been embarrassing for him. There were a few times me and him were alone and I regret not making a move when I could. I was a little annoyed that he didn't. I know I shouldn't have been, though. It was just as much my fault as his. Especially Saturday night, I thought for sure something was going to happen. We both slept over there. He didn't even cuddle with me or anything. It was disappointing but I know I could have done something about it. Next time I will.
I've been complaining about all the things Rob hasn't done, but honestly he makes me so happy. My stomach still ties in knots when I'm with him... and it's a good thing. If I can just get our relationship to move to a physical level everything will truly be perfect. I've never had to make a first move on a guy before and I'm beyond scared. But I have a feeling he's even more scared than I am. According to most guys, they say they'll never object to a girl's touch. Hopefully that's true for this one.
Any opinions? What would you do if you were me?
I've made up my mind and I have one objection to dating Rob. He is definitely not physical enough for me. Once he improves his body language towards me, I would love to have him as my boyfriend. I don't know if it makes me sound easy for saying this, but we have been getting so close the past two weeks I expect to be more than just talking to him. I know I'm being stupid for not initiating anything but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I haven't felt this way towards someone in a long time and I don't want to rush into things and ruin it if he's not ready. I can't keep sitting around and waiting though. Next opportunity I have, I gotta do something.
This weekend would have been perfect. Both Friday night and Saturday, this kid had a small get-together. It was only about 6-10 people each night but Rob was there so he and I had a good time. They were the drinking kind of get-togethers. I didn't want to get completely retarded in front of him though. I guess I'm a lot more experienced at drinking than him. We both drank the same amount and he was completely hammered. I felt bad it had to have been embarrassing for him. There were a few times me and him were alone and I regret not making a move when I could. I was a little annoyed that he didn't. I know I shouldn't have been, though. It was just as much my fault as his. Especially Saturday night, I thought for sure something was going to happen. We both slept over there. He didn't even cuddle with me or anything. It was disappointing but I know I could have done something about it. Next time I will.
I've been complaining about all the things Rob hasn't done, but honestly he makes me so happy. My stomach still ties in knots when I'm with him... and it's a good thing. If I can just get our relationship to move to a physical level everything will truly be perfect. I've never had to make a first move on a guy before and I'm beyond scared. But I have a feeling he's even more scared than I am. According to most guys, they say they'll never object to a girl's touch. Hopefully that's true for this one.
Any opinions? What would you do if you were me?
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Perfect
In my last post, I mentioned a guy I met, Rob.
Soo since meeting him, we've been texting all day every day. He's not really the flirting type at all. But apparently he's telling his friends me and him are "talking." I don't know if it's the same everywhere else, but around here talking basically means the two people like each other. More than friends. Rob and I haven't actually set a label on our relationship though. I can tell he's pretty shy with girls and he's not the type that would just straight up tell me what he thinks of me. I suck at figuring these things out. But I'm about 99% sure Rob and I are more than friends. He drops subtle hints.
The other day he asked me to dinner. Everything went way better than I expected. There was no awkwardness at all between us. Then he had the check split. That was confusing, considering if we were more than friends I would think he would have paid.
Since then though, he's been walking me to most of my classes in school and anytime we're around each other he doesn't leave my side. We have two classes together. He stays with me and we talk the entire time. He's been getting a little more flirty too.
After tonight, I really think Rob and I have something going on. He asked me to dinner again and when the waitress asked one check or two, he said put it on one and he paid for it. And he offered to drive me to school tomorrow.
It's hard to describe, but sometimes you just have a feeling that you can't quite put in words when someone is interested in you. I really hope I'm right. I like him sooo much and I can definitely see myself with him. He's not like other guys I've been with or I'm friends with. He's so nice to everyone and that's hard to find in a decent looking guy. Honestly, I think he's perfect for me. I feel like such a loser, but I can't help but wish he'll just give me a clear sign when I'm with him. Tell me he likes me, grab my hand, kiss me. I really want him to kiss me actually. I'm not used to shy guys, but I'm too shy myself to make first moves. Things are going great now, hopefully they'll only get better from here.
Soo since meeting him, we've been texting all day every day. He's not really the flirting type at all. But apparently he's telling his friends me and him are "talking." I don't know if it's the same everywhere else, but around here talking basically means the two people like each other. More than friends. Rob and I haven't actually set a label on our relationship though. I can tell he's pretty shy with girls and he's not the type that would just straight up tell me what he thinks of me. I suck at figuring these things out. But I'm about 99% sure Rob and I are more than friends. He drops subtle hints.
The other day he asked me to dinner. Everything went way better than I expected. There was no awkwardness at all between us. Then he had the check split. That was confusing, considering if we were more than friends I would think he would have paid.
Since then though, he's been walking me to most of my classes in school and anytime we're around each other he doesn't leave my side. We have two classes together. He stays with me and we talk the entire time. He's been getting a little more flirty too.
After tonight, I really think Rob and I have something going on. He asked me to dinner again and when the waitress asked one check or two, he said put it on one and he paid for it. And he offered to drive me to school tomorrow.
It's hard to describe, but sometimes you just have a feeling that you can't quite put in words when someone is interested in you. I really hope I'm right. I like him sooo much and I can definitely see myself with him. He's not like other guys I've been with or I'm friends with. He's so nice to everyone and that's hard to find in a decent looking guy. Honestly, I think he's perfect for me. I feel like such a loser, but I can't help but wish he'll just give me a clear sign when I'm with him. Tell me he likes me, grab my hand, kiss me. I really want him to kiss me actually. I'm not used to shy guys, but I'm too shy myself to make first moves. Things are going great now, hopefully they'll only get better from here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)